Who steals a 900 lb. Muskoka chair?

The owners of a store in Waterloo, Ont. are confused and upset after thieves made off with a 900 lb. novelty Muskoka chair that sat outside as part of a display. Employees guess that the thieves had to take the chair apart to make off with it, as they found some very large screws at the scene of the crime. Great, not only is the chair stolen, it’s also a few screws short of sturdy!

While any act of random theft is pointless, we just need to point out the absolute senselessness of this. Why would anyone steal a 10-foot tall Muskoka chair? What do you do with it? Sit it in front of your burn-the-forest-down size bonfire? Leave it outside your cottage so the local bears have a place to sit while they snack on what they find foraging through your trash? Place it in an empty field as an “if you build it they will come” invitation to sasquatches, giants, and other fabled creatures? We just don’t get it!

So, if you’re up at the cottage this weekend and see someone trying to assemble an enormous Muskoka chair, perhaps you should phone the local authorities and let them know that you’ve noticed some suspicious activity involving a very large chair.

See this video for more details.