When something sharp and pointy impales you, instinct yells, “Yank it out!” But if it’s a porcupine quill, nuh-uh, according to Franco Mariotti, a biologist at Science North in Sudbury. A quill’s harpoon-like head is covered in something akin to fish scales. The more you pull, the more it’ll hang on, like a fish hook. So you’ll have to outsmart it.
Quills have tiny, longitudinal air compartments. Grab one end and you’ll force air to the other (the end stuck in your butt), so it will be harder to remove. Split it, with scissors, lengthwise. Then, use pliers to yank out that oily quill.
If the quill won’t budge or breaks off, head to the doctor; left there, that mini-torpedo can burrow its way deeper and possibly poke some vitals. Or eventually exit the other side. Seriously.
This story originally appeared in our June ’09 issue.
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