10 times geese were the least Canadian animals ever

Updated: January 8, 2018

Canada Goose Photo by Magnus Binnerstam/Shutterstock

Deservedly or not, Canadians have a reputation for being reasonably polite and a little reserved. They’re the kind of people who if you met them in a dark alley would take you by the elbow and guide you to the nearest Tim Hortons while discussing the weather.

Our iconic avian symbol, the Canada goose? Not so much. Meet a Canada goose in a dark alley and you’ll think they’re lovely, but they’d probably steal your wallet and honk loudly right in your ear for good measure. They’re the bullies in Canada’s sandbox.

They’re the least Canadian animals out there. Don’t believe us? Take a look.

 

goose-with-cows
via Giphy.com

Pick on someone your own size? Yeah, right. If geese aren’t scared by a herd of cows, they certainly won’t be scared by you.

Goose and car
via Giphy.com

Yeah, don’t try to be friendly. Don’t make eye contact. In fact, just stay away from geese altogether.

Goose in park
via Giphy.com

Does anyone else hear the Jaws theme? Canada geese, like giant sharks, only with more feathers.

Goose with drone
via Giphy.com

Goose 1. Drone 0.

Goose with little girl part 2
via Giphy.com

Run, run, run away! 

Man fighting goose
via Giphy.com

You can try and fight back — but it won’t work. They will find you. 

Goose and gorilla
via Giphy.com

Even other (bigger, stronger) animals aren’t safe. This gorilla is probably scarred for life.

Goose with grandma and kid
via Giphy.com

Seriously, how many times do we need to tell you? Don’t. Go. Near. The. Geese. 

goose-with-golfer
via Giphy.com

Goose don’t care about your golf game. Goose just want to be a jerk.  

woman-helping-goslings
via Giphy.com

If you’ve learned nothing else, it’s that geese are freakishly self-sufficient. Don’t help them. Don’t touch them. Don’t go anywhere near them. Better yet, consider moving somewhere that doesn’t have them — because we are clearly not equipped to handle them.

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