Deservedly or not, Canadians have a reputation for being reasonably polite and a little reserved. They’re the kind of people who if you met them in a dark alley would take you by the elbow and guide you to the nearest Tim Hortons while discussing the weather.
Our iconic avian symbol, the Canada goose? Not so much. Meet a Canada goose in a dark alley and you’ll think they’re lovely, but they’d probably steal your wallet and honk loudly right in your ear for good measure. They’re the bullies in Canada’s sandbox.
They’re the least Canadian animals out there. Don’t believe us? Take a look.
Pick on someone your own size? Yeah, right. If geese aren’t scared by a herd of cows, they certainly won’t be scared by you.
Yeah, don’t try to be friendly. Don’t make eye contact. In fact, just stay away from geese altogether.
Does anyone else hear the Jaws theme? Canada geese, like giant sharks, only with more feathers.
Goose 1. Drone 0.
Run, run, run away!
You can try and fight back — but it won’t work. They will find you.
Even other (bigger, stronger) animals aren’t safe. This gorilla is probably scarred for life.
Seriously, how many times do we need to tell you? Don’t. Go. Near. The. Geese.
Goose don’t care about your golf game. Goose just want to be a jerk.
If you’ve learned nothing else, it’s that geese are freakishly self-sufficient. Don’t help them. Don’t touch them. Don’t go anywhere near them. Better yet, consider moving somewhere that doesn’t have them — because we are clearly not equipped to handle them.