The strangest boozy products we’ve ever seen

beer for dogs

This article was originally published in the May 2017 issue of Cottage Life magazine.

“If only there were a beer designed to be consumed while I bathe,” said nobody, ever. That didn’t stop the Swedish brewery PangPang from releasing a six-ounce, 10 percent pale ale for drinking in the shower (“Shower Beer”). Other boozy inventions are much less stupid: sippy cups for wine? Absolutely. Coffee beer? Two birds, one stone. Alcohol- infused whipped cream in a can? Kind of gross, but bring it on! With May Two-Four just around the corner, here are a few more products to enjoy responsibly. Or to avoid entirely.

Wine ice cream

An ice cream headache, followed by a wine headache. But in a cone! Mercer’s Dairy—a New York ice cream maker—has almost a dozen different wine- infused flavours (five percent alcohol); there’s also Winecream (10 percent alcohol), from a company in Baltimore.

Booze for animals

Since giving your pets actual alcohol is terrible, companies such as Apollo Peak and 3 Busy Dogs sell “wine” and “beer” for dogs and cats: Porky Pug Porter; Pinot Meow; Zinfan Tail; and so on. They’re booze-free and made with ingredients like beets, catnip, and malt barley. Does this Chardognay taste oaky to you, Rufus?

Anti-aging alcohol

It turns out that you can combat the aging effects of drinking alcohol by…drinking alcohol. Last year, a U.K. company created the world’s first anti-aging gin (Anti-aGin), distilled with pure collagen. In 2015, a Japanese company was marketing Precious, a five per cent beer with two grams of collagen per can. Science says: ridic.

“Celebrity” craft beers

What do you do when you used to be famous, and now you aren’t really doing anything at all? You run for president! Or you get your own craft beer, like Rick Astley, Hootie & the Blowfish, Tom Green (who?), and Megadeth (seriously, who?).