Sharing a cottage with your family can be awesome, or it can be a drag–especially when it comes to your in-laws or extended family. While you’ve got to love them, sometimes it can be a little hard to like them.
We’ve noticed that in-laws tend to fall into certain categories, so see if you recognize any of these types.
The guilt-tripping mother-in-law
She won’t let anyone else within spitting distance of the kitchen, but also moans about how much work it is cooking for everyone. All the time. In the dark. While she has a migraine. But don’t worry about her, she’ll be fine. These types are also frequently neat freaks, meaning she’ll spend the time she’s not cooking vacuuming, doing laundry, washing windows, and generally putting everyone on edge with her inability to deal with the steady onslaught of sand and bugs.
The gas-guzzling brother-in-law
This one is a fun-lover who somehow lacks any rudimentary scientific understanding of how combustion works–namely, that jet skis, boat motors, and chainsaws burn fuel, and running these things for several hours a day will deplete that fuel. He is also ignorant of economics, and will seldom offer to pay for the fuel he has used–opting, instead, to troop into the cottage and let you know that you really should make a trip to the gas station.
The hyper-competitive sister-in-law
Never mind Settlers of Catan–this gal can turn a jigsaw puzzle into a trash-talking smackdown, complete with victory dance after putting together all the edge pieces. If she wins, she’s insufferable, and if she loses, she’s sulky for days–which means, at least, that you’ll have some peace and quiet, but also allows your mother-in-law to rhyme off more statements like, “Did anyone else notice how hot the kitchen gets after you’ve been cooking for eight hours?”
The grill-master father-in-law
Your father-in-law is used to being the alpha male, and stakes his territorial claim over the grill–regardless of whether or not he can actually cook. He sees offers to take over to help as a threat to his manhood, which means you’re stuck with leathery steaks and carbonized burgers for the length of your stay. The best you can do is offer to mix up some homemade barbecue sauce, and drown your poor, desiccated meat in that.
Children of the tablet
These kids have a permanent bend in their necks from near-constant hours of screen time, making it difficult for them to take a walk, make eye-contact, or do anything that doesn’t involve a downward gaze. When they finally do make it outside, they complain about the glare on their screens. If forced to interact with nature or other living things like people, they will confusedly gesture with their fingers, trying to swipe to the next screen.
Bonus–the pyromaniac cousin
This one believes that any time spent at the cottage without a fire blazing is wasted, even on bright, sunny afternoons. He’ll burn anything and everything, so lock up that cool piece of driftwood you display on the coffee table–to your cousin, it’s just a big piece of kindling. He’s the one who has to learn the hard way that telephone poles covered in creosote don’t make good fire logs. And don’t expect to have any branches within 20 feet of your fire pit that aren’t singed.
