5 tips for entertaining the guys this weekend

Having the bros — or any big group — up for a long weekend can do a serious number on a septic system that’s sized for a family of four. Obviously, there are more people bathing and using the bathroom, but “you’re also making more food, and you’re washing more dishes,” says John Rowse of the B.C. Onsite Sewage Association. Signs that you’re taxing your system include wet spots in the septic field, a sew- age smell, or, more obviously, a toilet that’s backing up. If you’ve been properly maintaining the system—you have, right?—it’ll recover from these rough few days, but you’re better off preventing any abuse before it happens. Don’t go into the weekend with an overly full tank, and make sure the guys all know how to treat a water system on a septic (no dental floss or cigarette butts in the toilet, no bacon grease down the drain). “And any water conservation efforts help,” says Rowse. “You can save gallons. Just use common sense.” Photo by Brian A Jackson/Shutterstock

Save your septic

Do ... something. Go golfing, fishing, hiking, or for a boat cruise, or get the bros to help with a project. An activity that seems like a dull time-suck to you is interesting for a non-cottager, and it keeps the group from sitting around and drinking all day long. Photo by Rawpixel.com/Shutterstock

Don't just sit around and drink all day

“Otherwise you end up with just so much food. And that doesn’t make sense,” says Calgary-based nutritionist and cottager Janet Perry. Or you have no food — no good food — and “you end up having crap for dinner.” Put two guys in charge of the groceries, and have everyone else bring cash. Or divide up the meals beforehand. Tell everyone the cooking facilities they’ll have available — huge barbecue, but no microwave — and that you’ll provide basic ingredients. An even simpler alternative: guests can do most of the food prep at home, in advance, says Perry. “That way no one has to leave the dock early.” Photo by DisobeyArt/Shutterstock

Keep meals organized

Friends don’t let friends invite other random friends. Adding an odd man out to an established group — especially in tight quarters, for an entire weekend — can throw off the dynamic and make things weird for everyone. Photo by chippix/Shutterstock

Avoid social awkwardness

Before the gang arrives, prep your lakemates. Give them the details of the party, and why you’re having it, says Suzanne Nourse, an etiquette and protocol expert and the co-author of The Power of Civility. If it’s clear that this is a one- time, special weekend, “most neighbours will be okay with that.” Out on the dock, dial down the swearing. (Loud conversation is annoying. Loud, repeated F-bombs are really annoying.) Playing music out- side? Direct speakers inwards towards the party, not out across the lake. Photo by bestjeroen/Shutterstock

Keep neighbours happy