With apologies to the Bard, all the world isn’t a stage, especially at the cottage.
And that’s a good thing, says Carleton University psychology professor Robert Coplan, author of the recent book, The Joy of Solitude: How to Reconnect with Yourself in an Overconnected World.
Combine hectic lives, social media, and the work week, and it feels like we’re always “on stage and under a spotlight,” says Coplan. People need a break from other people. His solution is 15 minutes—or more—of daily solitude, me-time, or doing something you want to do. “It recharges your batteries and restores you,” he says, boosting mood and creativity while dialling down anger and anxiety.
And where can you achieve this personal restoration? The cottage. Or maybe not. Given today’s busy lakes, 24/7 connection, remote work, and big glass structures replacing tidy cabins, privacy at the lake isn’t what it used to be. Psychology can help: understanding how you perceive privacy—and why a little solitude is healthy—will help you capture that “offstage” feeling and buffer the intrusions threatening your peace and quiet.
Alone, not lonely
Solitude gets a bad rap. We are, after all, social animals. “The research is very clear: humans feel better when they interact with other people,” says Coplan. The feeling of loneliness “is like an alarm bell that goes off inside us and tells us we’re not getting enough social connection.”
At the same time, a regular dose of solitude—a solo paddle, sky-watching from the hammock, or rebuilding an ancient outboard—enriches the cottage experience. “It’s a myth that you have to pull out a yoga mat and meditate” to achieve feelings of serenity or connection, says Coplan. “Doing something that you personally find engaging, enjoyable, and satisfying can get you those benefits.”
As one example, a recent Norwegian study discovered people felt less lonely after spending solo time ambling about a local lake. Being attentive to the natural world and feeling part of nature confers a sense of belonging, researcher Sindre Johan Cottis Hoff said in an interview, and this “appears to have a protective effect against loneliness.”
The power of plants
Natural elements should be in your privacy plan—they help you focus on your own lot and less on what’s beyond the foliage. “You could have someone right next door,” says Coplan, but with “a well-placed tree or barrier, you won’t see or hear them, you’ll tune them out, and you’ll feel like you’re alone.”
Plants offer “visual distraction,” says Rob Farlie, who owns garden centres in Bala and Port Carling, Ont., with his wife, Kristan. In tight spaces, a series of plantings creates the illusion of depth, making neighbours seem more distant. Showy ornamentals, like geraniums in a window box, encourage you to eye the bloom, not the utility shed behind it. “Layering” different types and heights of plants—trees, shrubs, and perennials—mimics nature, enclosing properties in a comforting green embrace.
Chris McCarthy, owner of One Landscape Design and Build, in Lakefield, Ont., calls this “natural camouflage.” Tired of looking at your neighbour’s lawnmower cemetery? McCarthy suggests blocking sightlines with a trio of conifers, at different heights and planted in an irregular triangle. “Stagger them so, eventually, the branch lines will almost overlap,” McCarthy adds. “Even with only three trees, you’re going to get full coverage on about 15 feet.”
Mature trees and shrubs not only screen the view, they intercept road dust, hide nighttime lighting, and muffle sound. (A densely planted buffer of 10 metres between you and the road reduces much of the sound you hear.) On corners and roadsides, planted berms set boundaries and add curb appeal. A two-foot-high berm, with groundcovers, trees, and shrubs, plus a few large rocks will discourage pedestrians from cutting corners or taking shortcuts. A garden- and tree-studded five-foot berm along the road reduces dust, noise, and headlight glare.
Good fences for bad neighbours
Although a suburban standby, privacy fences usually only pop up in cottage country when “someone’s crossed the boundary of respect,” says McCarthy. For one thing, a view-blocking perimeter fence probably takes more away from your cottage experience than it adds.
But if visiting dogs are laying a fecal minefield, McCarthy suggests a black, four-foot chain link fence, concealed among trees and shrubs. Budget about $7,000, installed, for two 100-foot sections.
When disruptive renters next door hold nightly whoop-ups around a bonfire, a six-foot panel fence will at least block visuals, if not noise. Budget roughly $15,000 for two 100-foot runs of suburban-style privacy fencing, less than half that if you’re DIYing the whole thing. Like installing a fence, planting trees and gardens isn’t cheap, especially if they need ongoing care or deer protection. Rather than risking failure with larger, more expensive plants, Farlie suggests using small, native nursery stock, letting the plants acclimatize to their location as they grow. Cedars, hemlocks, pines, and spruces are popular conifer selections, with dogwoods, viburnums, and serviceberry as go-to native deciduous shrubs.
“If you’re going to spend $15,000 on fencing,” McCarthy says, “$15,000 on trees and planting, instead, certainly would give you good coverage in the areas where you need it.”
Create your sanctum
To get the best bang for the buck, concentrate privacy solutions on high-use areas, including the cottage and its immediate environs. “Sometimes, smaller is better,” says Rob Farlie. “Maybe you don’t need to put 30 trees down one side of the lot. Maybe you just need to screen this one eight-by-eight area.”
Focus on nooks and refuges (including decks, patios, pergolas, and gazebos) that look out to a striking vista while providing good cover (and cozy seating) on the other sides—they become the ideal place to dodge a breeze, read a book, and enjoy the view without feeling someone’s watching. You can add privacy with metal or bamboo screens, drop-down wind screens, or shade sails.
Plants don’t need to be arboreal in size or permanence: carefully positioned trellises covered with vines or container gardens can be effective screens. For instant cover, everything from small cedars to three-foot stands of perennial grasses is available in planters.
Inside the cottage, set up similar quiet nooks where guests can relax without disrupting others or drawing attention from nosy neighbours. Consider how sound transmits, especially at night. If, for example, your brother-in-law snores like a 1976 Dodge Dart with a bad starter, the old solution was jamming a pillow over your head. Yes, it’s also tempting to place a pillow over his, but we can’t recommend that. Instead, avoid jail time with a suite of sound-deadening fixes.
For new builds or extensive renovations, Colin Hinksman, general manager of Parry Sound-based Soundseals Insulation, suggests starting with acoustic insulation. Similar to regular batts, acoustic insulation muffles noise, is cheaper than its thermal counterparts, and requires no vapour barrier in interior walls. Couple the insulation with thicker-than-usual 5⁄8″ drywall to absorb sound. You can also install metal brackets, called “resilient channels,” that acoustically separate the drywall from the studs, reducing sound transmission.
Other sound-dampening materials go between studs and drywall or between layers of drywall. They include noise-proofing compound (Green Glue, for example), dense but thin sheets of mass-loaded vinyl (MLV), and fibreboard sheets (SONOpan, one trade name).
Sound tolerance is highly individual, so Hinksman recommends talking to an experienced contractor to select where and how much abatement is needed. Hinksman says customers typically focus on bedrooms, washrooms, mechanical rooms, offices, and “anywhere the kids are going to be hanging out.”
For visual privacy, and maybe a small acoustic privacy boost, window treatments are another staple, and they’re becoming more important with the popularity of glass walls and large windows. The slight tint on the exterior of energy-saving low emissivity (“low-e”) windows offers decent daytime privacy, but at night, with the lights on, cottagers are as visible as neon tetras in an aquarium.
Solutions vary according to the sensitivity (or exhibitionism) of the owners. But even if you know your nosy neighbours’ sightlines or don’t care what they see, your guests may feel uncomfortable.
Manual blackout roller blinds offer affordable privacy, especially in bedrooms and washrooms. Smartphone-operated automated blinds cost about $50–$250 more per unit over manual systems, as do dual rollers, which dispense both blackout and semi-sheer fabric, depending on your mood.
If you prefer to avoid blinds, emerging “smart window” technology uses electric current to transform windows instantly from frosted to clear. It’s not cheap, though—the glass alone for a four-foot-square window is currently about $3,400. Tinted window films are another option, although some aftermarket treatments may void window warranties or hamper glass performance.
And there are repercussions—quite literally—for local birds. Birds collide with windows because they see a reflection of sky and trees, or a route through two windows. Interior blinds have little impact on reflection, but frosted and etched glass and other opaque treatments can reduce strikes. (For more bird-safe window ideas, check out FLAP Canada, the charity working to prevent birds from hitting buildings.)
Blinds and windows make a good analogy for life at the lake: you want enough openness for active social fun, along with privacy for quieter, more contemplative times. Getting the mix right, Coplan says, is the challenge, since it varies for everyone. Don’t erect a Fortress of Solitude, the professor says, but likewise, don’t build “a party house that has no places where you can go off by yourself.” Choose or create spaces—inside and out—where you have privacy and can enjoy a comfortable sense of seclusion. Seek that sweet spot where all the world is not a stage, and at least temporarily, bask in the sensation that you are not merely a player.
Frequent contributor Ray Ford favours cellular blinds. Not for privacy, he says, but because he’s cheap. They cut heating costs.
This story originally appeared in our Summer ’26 issue.
Privacy policy
Is it legal for a neighbour to sit and stare at you through binoculars? What about a drone video? And what are their security cameras really looking at? As with most legal questions, says David Fraser, who practises privacy and technology law with the Halifax firm McInnes Cooper, the answer depends on “the totality of circumstances.”
If you’re working on your full-body tan, for example, “the court isn’t going to look kindly on someone scoping you out from 100 metres away with a telescope,” Fraser says. Ditto for drone footage or a security camera pointed at a hot tub. The federal Criminal Code offence of voyeurism makes surreptitious, non-consensual observation of anyone undressing, naked, or in what Fraser describes as an “intimate act” punishable by up to five years in prison. If a security cam eavesdrops on conversations without consent, that could be another five years for “interception of private communication.”
Voyeurism aside, you may still be able to sue based on the common-law torts (civil wrongs) of “nuisance”—an activity interfering with the enjoyment of property—or “intrusion upon seclusion”—an invasion of privacy that’s “highly offensive to a reasonable person.” But the “expectation of privacy is never absolute; it’s always on a continuum,” Fraser says. Courts balance your rights against the other person’s right to fly a drone or keep an eye on their property. Maybe the binoculars are held by a birder looking at a pine warbler perched beside your chaise lounge.
First step, as always: “Just talk to your neighbour. Are they aware this is making you stressed? Maybe they’ll be a good person,” Fraser says, and fix the problem. “That’s probably not good business for lawyers, but that’s always a good thing to do.”
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