Canadians have a reputation for being the politest people on the planet — that is until someone butts in line at Tim’s. Then we can throw it down with the best of ‘em with a repertoire of insults that are uniquely our own.
- Angishore. A Newfoundland insult meaning someone who’s too lazy to go fishing. The word is thought to be a variation of “hang-ashore,” hence its pejorative use, although some dictionaries define it as meaning someone who’s simply weak and sickly.
- Beau cave. French Quebecois slang meaning “total idiot.” If you get called this, you’ve really irked somebody.
- Bender. A bad hockey player — one whose skates are so badly tied that his ankles bend.
- Bushed. A west coast description of someone who’s been in the bush too long and has become somewhat uncivilized.
- Chiseler. A hockey player who falsely claims he got an assist when he didn’t, thus “chiseling” points from his teammate.
- Christer. This slang term from the Maritimes is often heard as “little christer” and equivalent in meaning to “little devil.” Most often used to refer to a mischievous child.
- Chucklehead. A word from Newfoundland meaning — pretty obviously — someone who’s stupid.
- Doughhead. Popular in southern Ontario, an insult that’s synonymous with “stupid” and “thick in the head.”
- Dusty/duster. A (bad) hockey player who spends all her time on the bench, gathering dust.
- Gorby. A loud, obnoxious, ignorant tourist. Popular in Ontario’s Muskoka area (where, it must be admitted, gorbies abound).
- Hoser. The classic Canadian insult. Originally refers to the losers of a hockey game, who, in pre-Zamboni times, would have to hose the rink down once the game was done. Now it’s a synonym for “loser” — but with a particularly Canadian flavour.
- Keener. Someone who tries just a little too hard, sucking up to an authority figure and showing off how much they know. Think Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, only Canadian.
- Newfie. A perjorative term for a Newfoundlander. Some consider it a term of endearment, others can’t stand it and some have decided to reclaim it and use it proudly.
- Pas fort. The French version of “fail.” Said in response to hearing that someone did something dumb. “I dropped my car keys into the slush.” “Pas fort.”
- Pigeon. A hockey player who isn’t good enough to score goals on his own, so he picks up the trash shots made his other teammates.
- A Rink Rat. A somewhat affectionate term for a kid who hangs around a skating rink, sometimes to meet players, sometimes to try and get free ice time in exchange for chores.
- Scivey. Pronounced “sky-vee,” this east coast word refers to someone untrustworthy or sneaky.
- Sieve. A really terrible goalie (i.e. one that lets through lots of shots, like a holey sieve).
- Skeet. This Newfoundland insult is similar to “white trash,” and generally refers to young miscreants who loiter and commit petty crimes.
- Squatch. A shortening of “sasquatch” that, in western Canada, refers to someone big and unkempt.