Two sleeps ’til Canada Day and jokes for Canucks (PLUS: Win a book!)

By Liann Bobechko »Liann Bobechko

Today's roundup of Canadiana: silly jokes for cottagers

June 29th, 2011

Avoid bugs

4 comments

 

Only two sleeps until the first day of summer break, and Canada Day!

All week we’re celebrating our Cottage Kids Countdown to the Great Canadian Summer, and today we are sharing a couple of groaners from Howard Hershkowitz’s 101 Canadian Jokes:

What kind of pine has the sharpest needles? [ANSWER: The porcupine.]

Did you hear the one about the cottager who lit a fire in her boat and had to swim ashore when it sank? [ANSWER: It just goes to show you can't have your kayak and heat it too!]

Why do seagulls live hear the sea? [ANSWER: Because if they lived by the bay they'd be bagels.]

How do you keep a grizzly bear from charging? [ANSWER: Take away it's credit cards.]

What did the beaver say to the maple tree? [ANSWER: "It's been nice gnawing you."]

What has six legs, bites, and talks in code? [ANSWER: A morse-quito.]

And we’ll end with my favourite:

What insects love math class? [ANSWER: Mosquitos—they add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide your attention, and multiply quickly.]

 

Want more jokes? Win the book in our giveaway contest, which works like this:

For a chance to win one of these six books (one of which is the joke book where these knee-slappers were from), post a comment telling me something you’re looking forward to doing at your cottage on Canada Day, or for the rest of the summer. You can check yesterday’s or Monday’s post for some ideas, and more details. On July 4th, I’ll do a draw from the names of those who leave comments to receive the books. Leave a bunch of comments for extra chances to win! Or get your mom, dad, kids, brother, or sister to enter! We’re all family here.

Oh yeah, what am I looking forward to? Sleeping in!

See y’all tomorrow for more trivia!

 

 


4 comments

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Liann Bobechko

Liann Bobechko

Jun. 29, 2011

3:16 pm

So true—it's amazing how smells seem so much stronger and more vivid at the cottage. It sounds strange, but I love the smell of rotting leaves at the cottage. It's so familiar and somehow welcoming.


Liann Bobechko

Liann Bobechko

Jun. 29, 2011

3:10 pm

Thank goodness for cottage neighbours! I hope your firewood collectting goes more smoothly this year, and that you invite your heroes over to toast a marshmallow!


mtokarczyk@roadrunner.com

greenjeep2005

Jun. 29, 2011

2:55 pm

I am looking forward to collecting firewood. Hopefully, it will go better than it did two years ago. In that Holiday, surrounded by family, I proceeded to lodge our chainsaw in a tree we were trying to fell. Needless to say, after much embarassment, and kidding from my family, we got the tree down. This was largely due to the help of our great neighbor, and his son, Clem & Kent respectfully These two fine gentlemen, with their vast knowledge and tools, were able to fell the tree, in less time than it took me, to get the chainsaw stuck. This year, I'll be looking through the classifieds for both firewood, and tree removal.


dougdebb@persona.ca

Panache

Jun. 29, 2011

11:34 am

More than anything, I am looking forward to the smells of nature - the fresh air, the clean, clear water and the HOT, woodsy smell of the trees and bush. Oh...and the campfire!


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